I hate infomercials. They go on and on and on, hypnotising you into ‘needing’ what you didn’t know existed before. They often make questionable claims, preying on people’s hopes and fears.

The reason for this rant? Someone close to me just spent R6000 she didn’t have on a vibrating platform you stand on while assuming various positions. This imitation of a device called the ‘Power Plate’ promises ‘far better results than conventional training methods by simply standing on a vibrating platform while assuming various positions for 10 minutes, three times a week.’

Flabbergasted, I asked my friend why on earth she believes these highly improbable and vague claims (What does ‘far better’ mean? What does ‘conventional training’ entail?). Her answer? “Madonna uses it and she is hot! Anyways, the product is backed by 40 years of research.”

It’s too late for my friend, but my advice to you is please don’t waste your money on the dubious potions, lotions and exercise contraptions they advertise on those incessant disinfomercials.

Think about it. Madonna (or whoever the hottie is they pay to appear on the ‘show’) is not built like a Shape model because she Power Plates for 30 minutes each week! It doesn’t matter if she honestly believes it or not, but the fact is she looks like that, because she eats well and works hard at staying in shape.

How is using people who have never worked out relevant to all users?

The Power Plate website lists a study titled ‘Strength Increase after Whole-Body Vibration (WBV) Compared with Resistance Training’. The study concludes that ‘WBV has the potential to induce strength gain in knee extensors of previously untrained females to the same extent as resistance training at moderate intensity.’ How the hell does this imply that the Power Plate ‘offers far better results than conventional training’? Also, how is using people who have never worked out relevant to all users?

This study also mentions that subjects who exercised on the vibrating platform did exercises such as squats, deep squats, wide-stance squats, one-legged squats and lunges while the group doing resistance training performed leg presses and leg extensions.

I’m no scientist, but I’ve got enough sense to know that making the two groups perform different exercises makes this study completely useless. Anyways, anyone with any experience in the gym will tell you that doing squats and lunges will always lead to greater strength gains than leg extensions regardless of the surface you are standing on.

So, after 40 years of research this is what they come up with? Of course not!

The second study offered on the Power Plate website concludes that ‘WBV may be a potential warm up procedure for increasing Vertical Jump Height’. Researchers said they found no changes in muscle activity levels and that WBV ‘affected no other performance variables’ and ‘the expected influence of vibration on performance increase can be expected to be small at best’.

There are other ‘studies’ but most are merely very short abstracts with scant detail regarding methodology.

To me it seems like, at best, this product provides minor benefits to individuals who have never done any other exercise and don’t plan to either.

You will obtain many (all?) of the benefits of this machine from any exercise and a healthy diet. If you have R6000 (R30 000 for the real Power Plate!) to waste, this might be a good idea. And if after a couple of months you don’t look like Madonna at least you’ll have a nifty clothes horse!

Unfortunately, the Power Plate is just one of a multitude of exercise machines, miracle cures or fat loss pills that these infomercials punt. Last year, the United States Federal Trade Commission (FTC) revealed that of the 300 fitness and weight loss ads they looked at in their study, 40 percent made at least one completely false claim and 55 percent made at least one unsubstantiated claim. They found many before-and-after pictures to be altered and many of the results of scientific studies imaginatively distorted.

All infomercials aren't misleading, but be careful!

Of course this doesn’t mean that all those ads are misleading. But it does mean that you have to be very, very careful you’re not being ripped-off. So before you blow your kid’s education money on the ‘latest breakthrough in wrinkle defence’, do your research, buy some sunscreen and consider the following:

• Does the product claim rapid, effortless weight loss? Scam!

• Does the advertisement imply weight loss without exercise or restricting calories? Scam!

• Claims to get rid of cellulite? Scam! (There are no supplements or machines that have been approved as effective for reducing cellulite.)

• Uses undocumented case histories, before and after pictures and ‘testimonials’ by satisfied customers. Probably a scam.

• Claims to remove fat from certain areas of your body. Scam! (It’s impossible to ‘spot reduce’.)

• ‘Money back guarantee’? Is there fine print saying something like ‘Only effective as part of an energy restricted diet’?

• Don’t be swayed by endorsements. Those people are paid, just like any actor in a ‘normal’ ad.

• Be aware of what handling and shipping costs add to the price.

• Being awarded a US patent is not impressive. You don’t need a good idea, just an original one.

• Do they use a lot of scientific terminology? Scam alert!

• Using free weights or real weight machines are exceptionally effective if used correctly. If the manufacturer claims otherwise, it’s a scam.

• Nobody on earth can accurately predict how much and how fast you will drop weight. Be alert for a scam if the product’s manufacturer makes such specific claims.

Make use of a dietician, subscribe to Men’s Health or Shape, buy a couple of healthy cook books, get a gym membership and hire a personal trainer. These things, not the Power Plate, will get the results you want without breaking the bank.

O ja, and walking and running is free!